James O'Brien's Mystery Hour

00:02 This is a Global Player original podcast. 00:08 This is LBC from Global. Leading Britain's conversation. Mystery Hour with James O'Brien. 00:17 Goodness me, is it that time of the week already? Three minutes after 12 is the time. Thursday is the day. That doesn't come as a major shock to anybody. And Mystery Hour is the name of the game. Because it is a game. The only hour of the week where we actually play formal games together as opposed to slightly informal ones. The way it works is this. 00:35 Someone rings in with a question, a mystery, perhaps a riddle, but a question that must have an answer, so not a riddle, really. A question that has an answer you have so far been unable to find, but you're pretty sure it must have one. So it's like a who question or a why, a where, a when, a whither, even, as the immortal words have it, the occasional wherefore. And having got your question on the board, Someone else will ring in with the answer. 01:06 And I'm not sure I can string that out any longer to get to the end of the music. That's it really, isn't it? That's Mystery Hour. 01:14 There are prizes for my favourite contribution of the week, and the management's decision is final. You can win a Mystery Hour game. There are two. One is in a box and one is in a tin. The big one's in a box. The travel one's in a tin. They're two completely different games. If you've got one, you would still enjoy the other. If you've got the other, you would still enjoy the one. You can find out more about the game at mysteryhour.co.uk. I wonder if you love anyone enough to give them a Mystery Hour game. I hope you do. It must be a very bleak and arid existence if you don't. And the full terms and conditions for that competition element of this hour can be found at lbc.co.uk. 01:52 And that's pretty much it, really. I mean... 01:56 People answering the phones have a final say on whether you get on air or not. So don't dilly-dally or delay or argue or debate. It's sometimes a case of repetition, sometimes a case of inappropriateness. Sometimes I'm afraid they just think you're a bit boring. And therefore your question won't get on the board, although you'd be amazed how many boring questions do get. No, I'm not selling it right. Very occasionally a question that might. Well, no. So often I find myself thinking a question is boring, but lo and behold, they often turn out to be the questions with the most interesting answers. 02:28 So I suppose what I'm cautiously suggesting to you, if you're new to this feature, is don't pay much attention to me. Don't pay much attention to me unless I'm answering a question, in which case I will almost always be 100% correct, at which point Keith will activate the round of applause. In the, frankly, unlikely event, but we've had two already this week, outside of the mystery, our environs. I think we've had two. Have we had two? 02:50 You will receive the highest award that British Radio can bestow upon a caller to a programme. It's called the Rayliota. 02:57 And it channels a slightly mishmashed line from the classic film Field of Dreams to reflect the fact that if we are doing our job correctly at LBC, then we will take calls from people who are unbelievably well qualified to make the contribution that they're making. So yesterday, for example, we spoke to the founder of the Dolly Parton fan club, the British wing of the Dolly Parton fan club. And he got a Ray Liotta because he happened to be listening. We were marking the passing of that magnificent human being. 03:27 And who would be better qualified to comment on that than the bloke who spent 25 years running the Dolly Parton fan club here in Britain and who met her on several different occasions? A lovely moment. And of course, the other little bit of the Raylio tour is it's the kind of caller who other radio programs would phone up to book. But on this program, they phone us, which was the other one this week. We were talking about cars, or it was a car-related conversation. It was actually about... 03:58 crime and technology it was not a motoring phone in but we still got James May to ring in formerly of course Top Gear and the Grand Tour which I see has been recast and in fact on that subject little motoring interlude for you BBC's just announced that Top Gear is coming back at the Edinburgh Television Festival they've made the announcement at the Edinburgh Television Festival the programme's not coming back at the Edinburgh Television Festival Does that cover it? I haven't done the Cammy Badenot story yet either, but I will try to remember to do that before one o'clock today. The number you need to submit your question or indeed to submit your answer, if you hear somebody else ask a question to which you know the answer, remains, as ever, on this program, 0345 6060 973. 04:40 And that's pretty much it. Anything goes. If you've got something, the kids have been bugging you all holiday about, why did we do this, Mum? 04:46 Then it's your perfect opportunity to get an actual answer. 04:51 who's, why's what, where's when's and it's quiet because we did the hit with the gentleman in Nepal a moment ago which means that the usual build up to Mystery Hour didn't happen before 12 noon which means that there are currently three phone lines free so don't hold back on the grounds that you never get through you will do one day, everybody does eventually and today could be the day 0345 6060 973. 05:16 I think that's it. Should we crack on? Have I forgotten anything, Keith? Excuse me a moment. I'm consulting my esteemed colleague, Keith. We're good to go? We're good to go. 05:24 Catherine's in calendar in Scotland. Catherine, question or answer? 05:29 It's a question, Jim. 05:30 Carry on. 05:32 So it's actually my partner's had this question. We're on holidays and we've been seeing a lot of cooks, chefs. Oh, yeah. And the standard uniform we've seen is they've got the white shirt and then their trousers are like that black and white checkerboard. And we're sort of wondering, why is it the cooks and chefs wear the checkerboard trousers? What's that about? Yeah. 05:52 That's a good question, that. The black and white check trousers in the kitchens. Everything else makes sense, but why would they wear those? I like that. Have you seen the film Tony yet? Have you seen Tony? 06:05 Tony? No, is it? 06:07 Yeah, it's brilliant. It's about the chef, Anthony Bourdain. 06:10 Oh, yes, yes. No, I haven't seen it yet, but it's on the list. 06:13 I absolutely recommend it. It's an absolute scorcher of a film. And do you know who's in it? Who? Who? The daughter of the man that walks past this studio every day shortly before one o'clock. 06:26 Oh. 06:27 Go on. You've got to have a guess. 06:29 Is it yourself? Is it James O'Brien? 06:31 No, my girls are not actresses, sadly. But also, it'd be very hard for me to walk past my own studio while also sitting in it. I'm good, Catherine, but I'm not that good. It's got Aled's daughter in it, Aled's girl, Amelia. Aled Jones's daughter is making amazing waves in Hollywood and beyond at the moment. And she's brilliant in that film. And, you know, I said to him, oh, your daughter's great in that film. and you just sort of get that lovely sense of paternal pride it must be such a magical thing to see but it's a brilliant film and I recommend it very heartily and Aled should be wandering by in about what do we reckon Keith 48 minutes give or take thank you Catherine enjoy the rest of your holidays I always get doubly flattered when people take time out of a holiday to ring me as opposed to a more boring day Russ is in Bangor continuing the Northern Irish theme Russ question or answer question carry on 07:22 Very high... I don't know if I went high voice then. Well, I did too. It's contagious. Yeah, I know. I could hear you doing it. Yes. Cadbury's Whisper and a Cadbury's Twirl. Why do they taste differently? 07:32 Yeah, it's easy, this. 07:33 Okay. 07:35 When, it's quite funny the things you remember, isn't it, mate? When my late father was on the Telegraph, he brought some whispers home when they were launched. It was the first, I think the whisper came out before the twirl. It did, it did. Because do you remember, there used to be a dip flake that went. Yeah, that was it. yeah there was a dip flake and then that was a bit like the galaxy did a version of that as well didn't they but it wasn't as good though because it was galaxy i prefer galaxy anyway that's a conversation for a different i want to do a podcast about snacks but no one will no one will commission it i just want to do a podcast about snacks like go through all the new snacks like you know when you get new flavors of things and i'm sure someone else has already done it I'm sure you found the website Pimp My Snack. 08:16 I haven't, no, but I will now. And they'll go, that's why they don't want a podcast about snacks. 08:20 No, no, it's because they do giant snacks. Oh, I've seen that. They make an enormous wagon wheel and stuff like that. They make an enormous cream egg that's like four foot high. 08:28 You know we were talking about career changes in the last hour. That's the one. 08:32 That's the one, I think, yeah. That could be it. 08:33 That could be the one. James O'Brien's Pimp My Snack. That sounds like a Channel 5 show. It does, actually. All right, mate. Maybe Channel 4. The... 08:43 The Whisper was the first pure chocolate product to be launched by Cadbury's since the Flake. And the Flake, I think, came out before the Second World War. Okay. And you might as well ask, why does a whisper taste different from a flake? 08:59 Yes, that's a fair point. 09:01 And the answer is texture. The answer is that the whisper... 09:05 The air is making the difference. 09:06 Yeah, it is because you've got so much air. Are whispers still a thing? Do you still get a whisper? 09:10 Yeah, yeah, because when I go to the shop, my daughter will not have a... I buy twirls, but she will only have... She wants a whisper. She wants a whisper. 09:19 So it is, if you do it, I mean, if you melted it down, it's probably identical. But there's something about the mouth feel that makes it taste different. And it melts down in your mouth. The way it melts in your mouth probably affects the flavor. And it's all about the holes. 09:36 holes. 09:37 So do bubbles make things taste differently? 09:39 That's a more general question, isn't it? Well, you're not allowed to do that. I know I'm not. 09:42 I'm not allowed to follow up. No. 09:45 So the answer is it tastes different because of the aeration. Okay. You're not going to let some Cadbury's expert on the show? I will, yeah. I'm not going to take a round of applause, but it was just a fond memory of my dad because he was so honourable, my old man. He'd never do freebies. I have the opposite approach to freebies as a journalist in that I will accept almost anything legal. 10:05 Maybe illegal. 10:08 Exactly that. Anything at all. But Dad would not do anything. If a new car was launched, he might take it for a test drive, but he wouldn't take it on holiday, even though they offered him the chance to do that. But he brought home some free chocolate, so it was quite a moment in our house. And the whisper, we were among the first non-Cadbury's employees to eat whispers. What's your choice? Is it the twirl or the whisper? 10:33 I'd go with the twirl, mate, actually. 10:35 I would. It's just far more chocolatey. It is. 10:38 Well, it is far more chocolatey because it hasn't got as many bubbles in it. There's more air in a whisper, which is why it tastes different. 10:46 But I will allow an expert to expand upon my answer. Russ, lovely stuff. 10:54 Keep eating. 12.13 is the time. Guy's in Ashford. Guy, question or answer? Corruption, please, James. Carry on, Guy. 11:03 In long periods of drought, where is all the water that is normally in the reservoirs, rivers, in the ground, in the clouds? 11:11 Over the last three months, we've had no rain. There have been no clouds in the sky. All the water's gone from the rivers and the reservoirs and the lakes, and there's none in the ground or the plants. Where is the water? 11:25 did you hear a minute ago when i said sometimes the questions that seem to be the most ridiculous turn out to be the most interesting i think yes do you think we might be in that territory now or are we going to decide that this was a ridiculous question in a few minutes it might be ridiculous i don't know because there's humidity there's water vapor in the air but there's always that but where is all the other water that's normally around where is all the water And it's a perfect Mystery Hour question. It's the middle of a drought. Where is all the water? There's a finite amount of water. 11:56 I mean, there's not quite, is there? Because it's hydrogen and oxygen. But there's a finite amount of hydrogen and oxygen in there. 12:03 But I don't think anything makes it. Nothing produces water at any point. 12:07 It's just a cycle, famously. 12:10 So there is a finite amount of water, of H2O, not just of its constituent elements in the universe, in the atmosphere, on the planet. And there's none of it here. So I suppose by rights, and I don't want to make light of what is going on in Nepal, obviously, but by logic, you kind of wonder whether there is a lot more water in some other parts of the world as a consequence of there being so little here. 12:35 Yes, but the whole of Northern Europe has been in the same sort of situation we have. 12:39 Yeah, yeah, it has. Where is all the water? Okay, you're on. Thanks very much. I like it. But as I say, it may turn out to be daft, but the fact that neither of us can work out why it might be daft means that, for now at least, it's not daft. 03456060973. A message for... Oh, I see. Emma sent me a message saying, I completely agree with this caller. About halfway into Guy's conversation, I thought, how can you agree with Guy's asking where all the water is? But of course, you were referring to the preference of a twirl over a whisper. You're just probably a minute behind. 13:11 Twirl 16 is the time. 13:14 It is 17 minutes after 12. You are listening to James O'Brien on LBC. Why do chefs wear Czech trousers? Why do whispers taste different from twirls or flakes? Do you know that a flake can't melt? Did you know that? It's one of those little useful bits. Oh, speaking of fascinating bits of trivia, I've got an absolute doozy for you. I can't believe I haven't shared this with you before. This is my favourite bit of film trivia. 13:41 And I can't believe I only discovered it last week. If you already know the answer to this, forgive me, but you'll have to agree that it is absolutely incredible. Who was the role of John McClane in Die Hard, right? 13:55 To whom was there a contractual obligation to offer that role before they could offer it to Bruce Willis? 14:03 And if you guess correctly on this, then I think you should be Pope or something. A contractual obligation... 14:12 to offer the role of John McClane. They turned it down for reasons that when you know the answer will become obvious. They were alive, but there was a contractual obligation to offer the role of John McClane in Die Hard to this actor before they could offer it to anybody else. And when you find out who it is, you will never forget. It's one of those little nuggets of trivia that are unforgettable. And the reason why I'm thinking about it is because someone awful called Glenn terrible person is currently putting together a pub quiz for tonight i don't know what pub it's at and frankly i don't want to and they are putting together a um a mash-up of two people i don't know if you've seen this round in a pub quiz it's quite a fun round and you have to identify both people in the mash-up and And obviously, Glenn, I'm giving away the answer to your quiz because Glenn has mashed my face with niggle farridges. 15:15 And I'm not sure I'll ever be able to unsee that, Glenn. So thanks, mate. 15:21 Thanks a lot. 19 minutes after 12. Wayne is in Bridlington. Wayne, question or answer? 15:27 Hi there, I've got a question. Carry on, Wayne. 15:30 So when I ask people this in general, they look at me like I'm weird, but it's always bothered me. So what's the smallest living thing inside our body? Now, what I mean by that is we have, like, for example, bacteria. Now, does that bacteria have things living inside of that? And if it has, do those things have things living inside of that? And how small does it go? When does it stop? 15:56 I mean, I can answer some of your questions. 16:00 No, would be the answer to one of them. They're not like Matryoshka dolls. They're not like those Russian dolls. And the smallest thing will be a monocellular organism. So it will be an amoeba. That will be it, because it's just one cell. So you can't get smaller than a single cell. So song that. You can't get smaller than a single cell. 16:26 So the answer is amoeba. Do those things have smaller things inside of them? 16:31 No, because it's only one cell. So every living thing consists of cells. 16:37 Yeah. 16:37 So if you get down to some living thing that consists of a single cell, it can't have another living thing inside it. 16:46 Right, okay. Do you get it? 16:49 Not really, but I'll take your word for it. 16:51 Well, I feel I've let you down if you don't. Let me try again. So you are made of cells, right, Wayne? 16:57 Yeah, science was never my strong point. Biology was never my strong point at school. 17:01 Yeah, I mean, I kind of worked that out. How many cells do you think there are in the average human being? No idea. No, nor have I, so I'm going to check. 17:11 There are about 36 trillion cells, Wayne, give or take, in the average human being. So you consist of 36 trillion cells. 17:19 Yeah. 17:20 An amoeba consists of one cell. 17:24 Right, okay. One cell. Every living thing consists of cells. 17:28 Yeah. So, for example, in a dog, there are approximately... Tens of... Well, lots of cells. I give up now. I'm not going to keep looking through it. So if it's only got one cell, there can't be anything smaller than it because it would not be made of cells. 17:47 Right, okay. And a silly question again, so is a cell class as a living thing? 17:53 An amoeba is, yes. An amoeba? An amoeba is a unicellular organism, and an organism is, I think, a synonym for a living. Between you and me, Wayne, I was crud at biology as well, so I could be... 18:04 So do amoebas have amoebas inside them? 18:07 No, they can't have amoebas inside them because... Are you teasing me now, Wayne? No, no, I'm not saying really daft. It can't have something inside it that's smaller than it. Right. Because it's only one cell. 18:21 Right, okay. 18:24 OK? 18:25 OK. Yeah, yeah. Excellent. All right. 18:28 You're going to carry on asking people about this, aren't you? 18:30 I'm going to have to. I know you are. I don't know why I bother. 18:34 Yeah, maybe. 18:36 To get on a large language. Go on, Keith. I'll take a round of applause until someone tells me why I'm wrong. 36 trillion cells in a human, Keith. Did you know that? Live and learn, don't you, eh? Charlotte's in Crystal Palace. Charlotte, question or answer? 18:50 Question, James. And it is, what's happened to Shire Horses? 18:54 I don't know, mate. What has happened to Shire Horses? 18:56 I don't know. Well, they used to deliver beer, didn't they, in London. We used to see them around. 19:00 And now where have they gone? Is it a full moon? This is one of those mystery hours that I think might... What do you mean what's happened to Shire Horses? Just because they don't deliver... They don't have a job anymore. What are they doing? Where are they? They're in museums. No, come on now. We need to know where they are. There's a shot. I think they've got shire horses at the Black Country Museum in Dudley. I want to know. There's some in Beaudley. I've seen some shire horses in Beaudley. They'll be on farms. 19:25 Are they working? 19:26 No, not really. No, because why would you get a horse to do something that a blooming great tractor can do? Well, I'm just worried about them. 19:33 I need to know properly what's happened to Shire horses. 19:36 You can't answer this question. It's like saying, where does all the rain go? 19:42 We can take a call from someone who can say, I've got a Shire horse, but it doesn't answer your question, does it? 19:48 Yes, sort of. 19:49 So you just want us to find, so your question is, Charlotte, can you find a Shire horse, James? 19:54 I want to know how many there are and whether they're happily employed. No, no, no. 19:58 But no one's going to be able to answer that question. Except perhaps the Shire Horse Association. They're not in education, employment or training, these Shire horses. 20:06 Oh, exactly. Yeah. We need a project. 20:08 So, I mean, you know where they've... 20:11 I don't know where they've gone. It's sad. I need to know. 20:15 Go on, stick it on the board for me. Well, I'm going to stick it on the board for you, but I'm not impressed, frankly. Where have all the shire horses gone? 03456060973. I don't know what's worse, the question about the amoeba or the question about the shire horses. How many cells are there in a shire horse, Keith? I'd estimate about 50 trillion, I reckon. Yeah. Where does all the water go? What's happened to Miss J.R. today? Have we... 20:43 Where does all the water go? Where is all the water when there's a drought? I think I might have answered that correctly, actually, albeit that it has a slightly tragic context in the current climate. Why do whispers taste different from twirls? And why do chefs wear Czech trousers? If you can answer any of those, please do. 0345 6060 973. Ian's in Harlow. Ian, question or answer? 21:06 Question, please, James. Carry on. 21:08 Brain freeze. 21:09 Oh, yes. What's that all about? So, you know, you've got a nice frappe, ice-cold frappe, you take a big slurp, and suddenly you get this excruciating pain in front of your head. 21:21 And you go, oh, I won't do that again. 21:25 So what's that? I don't think the brain is freezing, but something's happening. 21:31 Is it osmosis? 21:34 How long since we did that? Do you know what that's about, Ian? Have you got any idea what just happened? No. 21:39 Do you know what? 21:40 This is the problem with having a growing audience. When we started playing out that little bit of thing every time I said the word osmosis, We had about half a million listeners. Now we've got one and a half million listeners. So there could conceivably be a million people listening to this who've got no idea why that thing that happens, happens every time I say the word osmosis. 22:07 And I've forgotten, actually. 22:08 You're so pleased I called, aren't you? 22:10 I've forgotten. Oh, no, I haven't. It's because this actually probably involves me apologising to Wayne, actually, Ian, for being a little bit impatient, perhaps, when I was explaining, although some people feel I was very patient, explaining to him about unicellular organisms. 22:26 i used to use that word that you just heard me say three times as an answer to almost every science question and that that is why we started treating it with the derision that frankly my scientific attempts deserve so a brain freeze i don't think does have anything to do with osmosis because it's all right honestly and don't forget that we're in london at the moment he hasn't got that one ready i see um Yeah, all right. So it's a good question because everybody knows what it's like. 22:57 Nobody enjoys it. And yet we all still occasionally fall foul of it despite knowing better. 23:04 It's on the board. Thank you, Ian. Max is in Camden. Max, question or answer? 23:08 Hi there. I'd love to speak to you. Likewise. Yes, my question is this. Why on earth do we cry? Like, what purpose does it serve to have water running down your face when you're upset? I know elephants cry. Right. It's like when they're freed, apparently, that they shed a tear. 23:28 Really? 23:29 Yeah. 23:30 All of them. 23:32 Well, not all. 23:35 No, but I mean, you know, I've heard that and it just breaks your heart. But why do humans cry? What's the purpose? 23:44 Maybe you've had this before. 23:45 I probably have. We've had it all before, but I've forgotten. Or I never knew in the first place. I mean... 23:54 Could it be osmosis? No, don't do that, because Keith will get an itchy finger again. 24:02 I mean, partly it clears your eyes, doesn't it? But that's not the sadness element. The sadness element. What's the evolutionary purpose for crying? Signalling to other people that you're very sad? 24:16 I mean, but you could just tell them, couldn't you? I'm really sad. 24:19 Yeah, I don't know. It's a nice question. Maybe it releases hormones in you or something. 24:26 It should be. I mean, almost all things will have an evolutionary... Yeah, exactly. Rationale and evolutionary purpose. Yeah, all right, you're on. Why do we cry in evolutionary terms? I like that question, Max. Do you know, while you're here, Max, who was contractually obligated to be offered the part of John McClane in Die Hard before they could offer it to anybody else, including the man who ultimately got the role, Bruce Willis? Do you know who it was? 24:53 I'm dying to find out. I don't know. 24:55 Frank Sinatra. 24:57 Wow. 24:58 How good is that for film trivia? 25:00 He would have been terrible. 25:01 You're not wrong. He would have been terrible. But the reason, if I've understood it correctly, was that he did appear in a film decades previously that was based on the book written by the bloke that wrote the book that Die Hard was based on. And part of the contract for that meant that if they ever filmed any of the other books, Frank Sinatra would get first refusal on the part. I think he was in his 70s or 80s by the time they got around to filming Die Hard. So you're right, it would have been a very different film. 25:28 Well, thank God he didn't. Thank God he had the wherewithal to turn it down. It is half past 12 and Matt Hewitt is here with your headlines. 25:36 33 minutes after 12 is the time. Gary in Manchester says, did you subconsciously impersonate David Bowie when you uttered the word hole in an answer to that whisper question? Nothing subconscious about it, mate. I'm like Pavlov's dogs. You say holes, I hear that song, the Andy Warhol track off Hunky Dory. Probably my favourite David Bowie album. Holes. Andy Warhol. Holes. 25:58 I'm alright, don't worry. I'm just answering Gary's question. Should we get back to the phones before I embarrass myself further? Okay. Alistair is in Selby. Alistair, question or answer? 26:09 It's an answer, James. Carry on. 26:11 Shirehorses. Yes, where are they, mate? 26:14 Have you got them? They are in... I haven't got them. Nope, they are in Tadcaster, still delivering beer. 26:20 For Sam Smith? 26:22 Yes. 26:23 I think there's some in Hook Norton as well, at the brewery there, the Hook Norton Brewery down in Worcestershire. They kind of have a heritage role, so they're still working on the... Are they drays? Are they called drays, the carriages that... 26:34 So basically they're stable behind one of the pubs and they work five days a week and they deliver the beer to all the Sam Smith's pubs. 26:44 They're a fascinating thing, aren't they, the Sam Smith's pubs? 26:49 Yeah, he died recently, the owner, and I believe it's his family that are running it now, so there's a few more that are opening up and stuff now, because quite a lot were closed. 26:59 I mean, they are a one-off, really, in the context of... Was it Humphrey Smith? Was that his name? 27:06 He was almost like a sort of Victorian eccentric, wasn't he? He had all these rules in his pub because it was an empire that he owned. He could do whatever he wanted. So they banned phones long before anybody thought banning phones in pubs would be a good idea. And the most amazing thing is every single thing for sale in a Sam Smith pub is own brand. 27:25 yeah even the lemonade exported a lot to america weirdly the beer's delicious massive massive yeah massive but if i want a coke i want a pepsi or a coke i don't want sam smith's cola do i but every single thing in there was um was was was was own brand still is there's one near me there's a lovely pub on the river it's just just beyond brentford on the way to richmond that's the sam smith's anyway i digress and i'm showing my enthusiasm for pubs in general what are your qualifications I beat the tack after and saw them with my eyes. 27:57 Well, there you go. So, I mean, I don't know whether that's going to satisfy Charlotte. Frankly, she seemed like trouble. But we found at least some of the Shire horses, and there are others at other breweries as well, and probably some at some old working museums and things like that, and obviously a lot fewer than there used to be. A lot fewer than there used to be. Round of applause for Alistair, who has seen a Shire horse. 28:18 Cheshire Cheese is a Sam Smith's pub, isn't it? On Fleet Street. It's one of my all-time favourite pubs. I haven't been there for years. 28:25 Ben's in Epsom. Ben, question or answer? 28:28 It's a question. Carry on. It's about senses. Yeah. So it's about if you try and picture someone that you know, you can picture them as if they were sitting in front of you. 28:41 Yeah. 28:42 Yeah, and if you were to sort of try and imagine a sound that you knew, like the sound of somebody speaking that you knew well or singing or a song, you could kind of hear that in your head. 28:54 But you can't do that with smells. You can only... You recognise smells when you smell them. So if you walk into a restaurant or you're cooking something, you can recognise those smells. But you can't kind of... Picture's the wrong word, but you can't... Generate. Yeah. 29:13 And I think the same is true also for touch, maybe. 29:18 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I think I know this. 29:22 Okay. It's molecular, isn't it? 29:26 Is it? 29:26 Yeah. 29:28 There's no molecules in a memory. 29:30 There's no molecules in a mental image, but there's molecules in a smell. So unless you've got the right molecules there, you're not going to be able to recall the smell. You're not going to be able to regenerate the smell. 29:40 And the same with touch. That's just something to touch. You touch things in your dreams and you smell things in your dreams, I suppose. So you can send the message to your brain that the molecules are there. But when you're conscious, if the molecules aren't there, you're never going to be able to generate a smell. 29:55 Yeah, maybe. 29:57 It works as an answer. 30:00 Also, it sounds clever because you can just say, oh, it's molecular. 30:03 Yeah. It must be that, mustn't it? Why can't you remember smell? Well, recall is the word we're looking for. Why can't you recall a smell? The answer is because you can't conjure up a smell because it's molecular. 30:15 Yeah, recall is definitely the word. I was thinking that perhaps it was more to do with a particular part of the brain. 30:23 I wouldn't have thought so. I wouldn't have thought so because you can smell things in your dreams, or at least you think you can smell things in your dreams, which means that that part of the brain... 30:31 I don't think you do smell things in your dreams. 30:33 Oh, you do. You do. Don't you? 30:36 No. No, no, I don't think so. 30:38 Hang on. 30:38 Keith, do you smell things in your dreams? 30:40 No? 30:41 I think you see people in your dreams and you probably hear sounds... I think you smell things in your dreams. 30:45 You'd notice if you didn't smell anything in your dreams because you've got a full gamut of all the senses. 30:51 Eleanor had a dream about me the other day. She spilt loads of coffee on me. I don't know what that means. Perhaps a Jungian psychologist can ring in and tell us. Could you smell... Was it my enormous mug full of coffee? Good Lord. I must have been drenched. It's a miracle I survived. 31:04 Could you smell coffee, Eleanor, in that dream? 31:08 Yeah, we think she could, mate. Yeah, you can. 31:10 Oh dear, it must be me then. 31:11 Yeah, it must just be you. Um... 31:15 All right. I mean, I'll leave it on the board. Why can't we recall smells? But I think I've answered it. I'm just not greedy, so I'm not going to give myself another round of applause on this one. I like it, Ben. Carry on. 12.38 is the time. You know it's a vintage mystery hour, writes Phil, when one of the qualifications is, I've seen a horse. 31:35 Please never change, mate. Phil, I'll do my best, but thank you. And you're right. 31:39 Kevin's in Cheltenham. Kevin, question or answer? 31:42 Hi, James. Hi, Kevin. My question is, can a man swim so fast through the water that he can breach like a dolphin or a whale? 31:53 Well, what's butterfly? What's the butterfly stroke then? 31:59 Well, it would have to be the fastest stroke in order to launch out of the water, I think. 32:04 But a butterfly launches out of the water, doesn't it? I mean, a butterfly is breaching. It goes up and... 32:10 I think technically a full breach is the entire body, like a whale or a dolphin. 32:16 So can a human being swim so fast that if they head towards the surface, they would fly out of the water? 32:23 And possibly jump onto the side of it. 32:25 That would be cool, wouldn't it? I tell you what, if you pulled that off at Brentford Baths, they'd be talking about it for years to come. I'd love it. 32:35 No. 32:36 I think I agree with you, but I would like to know. 32:41 But it's like time travel, isn't it? If it was possible, we'd know about it. 32:51 Your phone line's gone. That's annoying. I was enjoying that conversation. 32:55 I mean, you could have... 32:57 I'm trying to think about when you come up from the very bottom of a deep pool and you gather... You're never going to be going fast enough. You're never going to be able to generate enough speed. 33:06 Otherwise all the Royal Marines would do it, wouldn't they? And they'd be landing like Aquaman on the beach and shooting people. No, mate. No, I'm taking a round of applause. It's not often I give myself a round of applause for a straight no, but no. 33:20 Thank you, Keith. Ian's in Bonnie Rig. Ian, question or answer? 33:25 That's an answer, James. 33:26 Carry on, Ian. 33:27 So in regards to the brain freeze question. 33:30 Excellent. 33:31 So a number of years ago I had my back when I was at work, I had a back injury and I had to get a couple of back operations. Oh yeah. So you always get these visits with a neurosurgeon or the anaesthetist before you get the back operation to make sure you're fit enough for it or whatever. Yeah. So I was asked, I actually had the two of them present and I was asked, do you have any questions for us? I've always been told, always ask a question. I didn't have any questions to ask him, so I thought I'd just be cheeky and ask the question about brain freeze. 34:02 Because he's a neurosurgeon. Who told you to always ask? Who told you? I've got a strange look. One of my parents told me that. Okay, always ask a question. 34:10 Someone says if you've got any questions, always make sure you've got one. 34:13 It's just rude. It's rude otherwise. I like your parents. 34:16 Go on. 34:17 So the question I asked was, what caused his brain freeze? Because I always thought it had something to do with nerves. And it has. Apparently, the sudden coldness at the back of your soft palate, apparently. This is just from memory, so I might be wrong. Go on. Or a bit mistaken. It's got something to do with the sudden coldness on your palate sends signals through your nervous system to the front of your brain, which causes what they call referred pain. And that's what I was experiencing at the time as well with back injury. I was feeling pain down my leg and down my throat. It's called referred pain. 34:47 So that accounts for the pain in the forehead and also it causes the blood vessels to constrict, which causes numbness, if you like, in your head. It's just as simple as that. 34:59 Makes sense. Qualifications? I know you told us, but tell us again. 35:03 I have no qualifications apart from being a back injury victim. 35:06 Is it all right now? Is the surgeon good? Yeah, I'm fine. We can trust the surgeon on the brain freeze question because they sorted your back out, you see. 35:12 Yeah, absolutely. Now you're on. 35:13 Have a round of applause. 35:14 Thank you. 35:16 Thank you. 35:18 Why do chefs wear Czech trousers? Why does a whisper taste different from a twirl? Where is, I think, where is all the water when we're in a drought? Where is all the water? We've done that one. We've done that one. We've done that one. Why do we cry? What's the evolutionary explanation for crying? 35:38 Why can't we recall smells? 35:40 And... 35:42 I've done that one as well. Synchronized swimmers don't breach. Your feet come out of the water. You're swimming so fast that the whole body comes out of the water. It's not possible. If it was possible, Thorpedo would have done it, wouldn't he? Ian Thorpe would have done it. You know, the fastest swimmer ever would have done it. And he didn't. And he hasn't. Therefore, it's not possible. 12.43 is the time. 36:05 I need answers to those questions. I'm not here for my own amusement, you know. Give me a ring now. 0345 6060 973 if you can do the chef's trousers, the whispers, the water, the smells and the crying. Davey's in Edinburgh. Davey, question or answer? 36:20 It's a question, James. Carry on. 36:23 I got called through to my neighbour's house last night. 36:25 Oh, yes. 36:26 And behind a fridge, there's little pops and flashes of light. 36:30 Ooh. 36:31 and pulled the fridge out, and there's a heavy electrical cable running through there, supplying the cooker. 36:36 Right. 36:37 And it's been chewed through. 36:39 Oh, dear. 36:41 Why? Why do mice, why are they attracted to the PVC of electrical cables? 36:48 I might know the answer to this one. 36:50 Oh, good. 36:52 And it's only because I used to, I know a bit about squirrels. 36:58 And rats. 37:01 And if they didn't... And I don't know if it applies to mice, but I'm thinking they're in the same kind of ballpark. Before I start speculating, I just want to clarify. You were called around because you're the local bloke. 37:14 I'm the helpful neighbour. The helpful neighbour, yeah. 37:17 I just wanted to clarify that. So if a rat did not gnaw stuff, right? Right. 37:27 then its teeth would be about a foot long. They would never stop growing. 37:34 They're not like human teeth. So they have to gnaw all the time in order to keep their teeth short. And I imagine that mice are the same so that when they encounter something that has a nice sort of texture to it they'll have a little old gnaw to keep the teeth small and obviously not realize that in so doing they are endangering an entire street in edinburgh potentially you don't know better things to know than yeah but they don't only gnaw yeah yeah but they don't only gnaw wires but what you need to remember mate is that mice have got very small mouths Okay. 38:16 So there has to be something small enough for them to get their little micey mouth around. 38:23 And that is where your electrical wire comes in. 38:33 It's good, but it's not definitive. There must be something in PVC that they like. 38:40 It could be soy, could it? Soy or something? sorry electric yeah i'd write you on okay why do mice nor wires oh three four five six oh six oh nine seven three is the number that you need the time is 12 46 the story i wanted to share with you just it's made me laugh so much i don't know if you saw kemi badenot claiming i you know i love kemi badenot right she is just the best ever um if i had one scintilla of her self-belief i would be pope by christmas So she's been telling everyone that Georgia Maloney told her that she should not have any coalitions with Nigel Farage and should be her own woman and stand her ground. 39:19 Kemi Badenot, being Kemi Badenot, you can probably guess what's happened now. 39:24 But I'm not going to tell you until after the next break. So just so if Kemi, I never have gaffs Badenock says, oh, I had a lovely meeting with Georgia Maloney. And she said to me, you've got to stand your ground and be your own woman and don't have any coalitions with Nigel Farage. 39:39 What is almost certain to happen next? Because Kemi Badenock never has gaffs. 39:44 I'll tell you after this. 39:46 10 to 1 is the time. And the answer, inevitably, to what happened next after Kemi, I never have gaffed, bade her not, claimed that Georgia Maloney, the Italian prime minister, had told her not to ever have any coalitions with anybody else, including Nigel Farage. Georgia Maloney's people denied that it had ever happened. Georgia Maloney's allies have denied claims that she told Kemi, bade her not, not to make an electoral pact. 40:12 Good job she never has gaffes, because if she ever had a gaffe, that would be so embarrassing, wouldn't it? Wayne is in Basildon. Wayne, good afternoon. Hello, sir. 40:19 How are you? Very well, indeed. Question or answer? It's an answer. Where's all the water gone? 40:26 Yeah, can I just read something from our WhatsApp group? Okay. For the benefit of people who aren't in it. 40:33 There's two things. 40:35 The first is, Scott wrote, I vote for Dickie Hart to do your holiday cover, which I thought was quite amusing. That's going back to the ventriloquist that we had on in the last hour, one of whose puppets is called Dickie Hart, which I missed. It's a pun that I missed at the time. But then he wrote, Wayne, with four A's and six Y's and seven N's. He was like, Wayne! And I had no idea what he was talking about. So I wrote, what? And Scott replied, the bloke asking all the water is, surely this is Wayne's moment. He's been wanging on about it all week. And here you are, as if by magic. 41:06 There you go. 41:09 It's a very simple answer. It is the water cycle. And I did mention this a couple of weeks ago. You did. All of the water that we are evaporating here... will eventually cool down and then descend into rain. And now we're looking at the floods we're getting in Nepal. Yes. The water you're getting from Nepal is probably from the Henningfield Reservoir by me. Because that's like... 41:32 It's gone up into the sky. It's travelled all the way around the world and it's fallen back to earth in a different climate. 41:37 Yeah, it's just... The fact of the matter is we're looking at it in a very sort of local... Yeah. So kind of xenophobic way. 41:44 It brings xenophobia into everything, you snowflake. Honestly. Yeah. 41:49 Who's nicking our water? 41:51 Yeah, who's nicking our water? So that is the answer to Guy's question, is that the water just goes, I don't want to say on holiday, but it just goes to other parts of the world that haven't got a drought. In fact, some of them have got the opposite of droughts. 42:02 If you look at sort of like hemispherical sort of weather traits, if it snows in New York, normally two weeks later, we get it. So it just, it works that way around, yeah. Qualifications? I'm a domestic energy assessor and had to learn about exposure zones in the UK in order to ascertain whether a house is worthy of having... That's just your side hustle these days. 42:27 Yeah, you know it is. That's not your main job anymore, is it? I'm milking. I know. So I was in Hornchurch with Wayne a couple of weeks ago, which is where his round is. And I don't know if you've got any friends who are milkmen or indeed milkwomen, but Wayne can point at a house and tell you what their delivery is. So we were walking to the football in Hornchurch and he would point at a house and he'd go, two pints of oat milk. And then we'd go past another house and he'd say, pint of gold top every other Thursday. And it occurred to me on the way home, you could have been completely making that up. 42:57 Mate, why would I lie about something like that? That's a very good question. Have a round of applause. Cheers. I'll see you tomorrow. 12.53 is the time. Craig is in Edinburgh. Craig, question or answer? It's an answer, James. Carry on, Craig. 43:11 It's the answer to whether we can basically smell things that aren't there. Oh, yes. 43:16 It wasn't quite that, but I'm going to enjoy your answer anyway. But go on. 43:20 The answer is that some people basically can conjure smells and other people's can't. 43:25 Oh, really? 43:26 Yeah, so it's basically... Synesthesia is probably linked to this a bit, is it? Because some people get smells in their senses when they see a certain colour. 43:35 Well, it's funny you mention that because we've spoken before, I'm a whiskey maker, and one of my colleagues I'm meeting this afternoon has synesthesia, which made me really interested in this question. Yeah? 43:46 So he's made a whisky last year and the tasting notes was a spectrum of colour as opposed to words on a page, which was fascinating. And did it make sense to you? I've got a little bit of synesthesia. I can smell purple and green, for example. 44:03 But not to the same extent as he has, where you can put an entire, you know, whiskey. 44:10 Just into colours. Sheila's got synesthesia as well. Sheila Fogarty. 44:15 Yeah. I don't know what her... 44:17 I don't know what hers is. I don't know whether it's smell related or something else. And at Lush, the wonderful company that does all of the cosmetics, they do synesthesia massages now at Lush at the bigger branches. 44:29 So, you know, the smells will be very much part of the whole process, the whole sensory experience. I love that. But it doesn't answer the question of why we can't. 44:38 Can your friend remember a smell? 44:41 Yeah, but it's actually something that in my own career I've done with other whisky makers as well, where we've sat somewhere and we've come up with an aroma and a flavour, like we've experienced something. And we've thought, you know what, I'd love to be able to recreate that in the lab. And to do that, you have to basically remember what it is you're working towards. 44:58 But it's molecular. You can't remember a smell in the way that you can remember an image. 45:03 In terms of actually smelling something, when it's there, it's molecular. But the reason that I know that some people can and some people can't is it was Derren Brown did a live TV show a few years back where he made people at home smell peppermint. Some people could and some people couldn't. 45:19 So it's a capacity, it's a brain thing. It's a bit like the taste of coriander. 45:24 Yes. 45:26 Qualifications, I know you've told us, but tell us again. 45:28 Yeah, so basically I'm a whiskey maker, but I saw the answer to this question on a Derren Brown special a few years back. 45:34 I love it. How many, I mean, when you say a whiskey maker and you mention your friend making a new blend, I mean, how many, in the average year, how many new whiskeys are you bringing to market? 45:48 For me personally, the company I work for just now, we're probably bringing, well, we're bringing at least 20 to 30, but for the ones I'm actually blending, it's maybe two a year. Yeah, okay. Whereas for this guy I'm going to speak to, he works for a big brand, so he's probably doing maybe seven or eight expressions a year. That's amazing, isn't it? 46:05 Nice work. Do you take your work home with you? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 46:08 Actually, the company I work for is based in Australia, so I work from home, so the home bar's not too bad, James. 46:13 I can imagine, I can imagine. Round of applause for Craig, please, Keith. 46:18 Ian is in Kingsland. Ian, question or answer? I have an answer, James. Carry on, Ian. 46:23 Mouse teeth. The reason they chew is because their front canine teeth are always growing, so they chew on objects to keep the teeth ground down so they can eat properly. 46:33 So he owes me an apology, then. 46:37 The fellow who asked that question. 46:38 When I came home, the radio was on. I heard the question. I thought, I've got to answer this. Yeah, but I'd already answered it 100% correctly. 46:46 Well, in that case... No, no, no, you get the round of applause because I'm afraid the person who asked the question, I don't think I've written his name down, which was a mistake. Do we remember? Davey, was it? David in Edinburgh? Davey in Edinburgh, who was just frankly dismissive of my answer, mate, even though it was, as you have proved... No, it's totally accurate. 47:02 Rats do the same thing. 47:03 I said that! 47:05 And squirrels. 47:06 Yes, because they're rodents. Rodents' front teeth grow. 47:10 Thank you. And I'll tell you how good I am at this. I know your qualifications before you tell me. 47:15 Go on. 47:16 You're a pest control expert. 47:18 Technician. I wouldn't go expert. You're an expert now, mate. 47:21 We're all experts here because that's who told me. That's how I knew the answer to that because my pest control mate told me. 47:28 Round of applause for Ian. Thank you very much. 47:31 Thank you. Hang on. Sheena's got a question in. Don't go yet. 47:33 Can you ask him if he's married? Why? I want to marry a pest controller. I'm afraid I'm taken. 47:38 Oh, I'm devastated. I'm devastated. Nice part of the world, Kings Lynn. That's almost it. We can squeeze in one more. Pat's in good morning. Pat, question or answer? 47:49 it's an answer and it's just it's a quick sort of um yeah add on to what you said about the smallest organisms in the body living organisms in the body oh yeah so you've got bacteria which is a matter of a can be about a thousand times smaller than the single-celled organisms and it counts as a living thing it counts as a living thing because you can go even further than that and on the oh no so we're going to owe wayne an apology do we owe wayne an apology here No, you do, because you can go on the periphery of that, of what we define as living as a virus, and they can be a hundredth the size of a bacteria. 48:23 What's the smallest thing? A virus? 48:26 A virus, but it's touch and go whether you could define that as a truly living thing, because most of them can't. 48:34 Can you have a bacteria on an amoeba? 48:37 Yes, absolutely. Wayne, I'm sorry, mate. I'm sorry I mocked you. I didn't mock you, actually. I thought I had the patience of a saint. Qualifications, Pat? 48:47 Long time ago, a degree in biochemistry and pharmacology. Round of applause. 48:53 Favourite. I'm going to send it to Wayne, actually, up in Bridlington, because I was a bit dismissive of his question. It turned out it was much clearer. I'd said at the time, I bet this is a cleverer question than it sounds. So if Wayne in Bridlington wants it, it is his. Someone sent me a message, Sheila, from David. It said, you are a squirrel on Newsnight. 49:11 And I looked at it for about 10 minutes. 49:13 About you or a bit? 49:13 Yeah, no, me. You are a squirrel on Newsnight. And I thought, what's wrong with this person? And I remembered I ate a squirrel. It's a typo. Oh, you ate? I ate a squirrel on Newsnight. You ate a squirrel? I ate a squirrel on Newsnight. It's on YouTube. Was it cooked? Yeah, of course it was cooked. 49:25 I wouldn't eat a raw squirrel. Just checking. I was with George Monbiot. 49:29 If you missed any of today's show, you can listen back on our free Global Player app or the LBC app, where you can also stay up to date with all the latest news videos and opinions. You can listen to a range of podcasts, including James O'Brien Daily, best bits of this show every day, and you can download the official LBC app. It's free, and it's in your app store now. Coming up at four on LBC, Simon is in for Tom Swarbrick once again, and Sheila Fogarty is as you have gathered here now. 49:49 Sorry, I interrupted a bit too early this time, didn't I? It's nice when you do that. Oh, good. I'm glad. I'm glad. 49:54 This has been a Global Player original production.