Soul Gum

We all have that one person who can ruin our day in less than 30 seconds. Why is it so hard to stay in our values around certain people? And how do we stop giving them so much power? In this episode, we're turning to the 19th-century philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche for five lessons on dealing with difficult people, navigating conflict, and becoming unbotherable. If you've ever let a five-minute interaction ruin your entire week, this episode is for you. EPISODE OUTLINE - NIETZSCHEAN PRINCIPLES FOR BECOMING UNBOTHERED 00:00 Intro 9:13 1. Navigating other people’s opinions of you 14:50 2. Let them misunderstand 21:01 3. “They muddy the water to make it seem deep” 24:30 4. Are you actually keeping the peace? 31:10 5. Knowing when to walk away 35:40 Lightning round recap 38:08 Help keep Soul Gum ad free 39:05 To Take Back a Life by Kate Baer EPISODE LINKS My debut poetry collection MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠ ⁠Subscribe to Soul Gum’s new instagram :-) ⁠ Follow me on ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠TikTok

According to the existentialists, the core problem of being human is this: we are meaning-seeking creatures in a universe that is silent on meaning. But somehow, we're supposed to figure out what to major in, who to marry, and what to do with the approximately 30,000 days we get to be alive. In this episode, we walk through six levels of living a meaningful life as described by Simone de Beauvoir in her 1947 work The Ethics of Ambiguity, moving from brainrotten aimlesness to a life driven by purpose. If you want to live a life that feels meaningful but have no idea what you’re supposed to be doing with it, this episode is for you. EPISODE OUTLINE: THE 6 LEVELS OF LIVING A MEANINGFUL LIFE (according to 20th century existentialist philosopher Simone de Beauvoir) 00:00 Intro 04:57 1. The sub-man 10:13 2. The serious man 14:17 3. The nihilist 16:43 4. The adventurer 22:06 5. The passionate man 24:10 6. The compassionate person 26:27 but btw life isn’t a ladder 27:51 Reflection questions 30:20 Lightning round…

The manosphere wants you to think charisma is all about dominance and control. But what if it’s actually about deep presence and social courage? I don’t want to be like the guy who uses scarce communication to hide his lack of depth and fear of commitment. I want to be like the people who make you feel cool just by talking to them, while radiating charisma themselves. If you’ve ever wondered why some people can have fun talking to literally anyone, struggled to know what to say when someone asks you a question, or wished you were more comfortable saying what you actually think, this episode is for you. In today’s episode, we unpack 5 habits of highly charismatic people, from what they say when they’re getting to know someone to how they navigate disagreements. Along the way, we’ll talk about what we can learn from Socrates about swag, dive into the science of answering any question well, and use Byung-Chul Han’s concept of “the smooth” to investigate how we can stay raw and real in a world that tries to sand…

Pumpkin spice apologists wya? It’s the great lock in Charlie Brown!!!!! In this episode, I’m walking you through the exact five-step seasonal planning system that dramatically changed my life a few years back. Along the way, we’ll dive into the philosophy and psychology behind why it works. We’ll talk through Nietzsche’s philosophy on habits, Simone de Beauvoir’s ideas on how to reconcile your past and future selves, the planning fallacy, and more. Whether you want to change the trajectory of your life this fall or just set up some systems to make life a little less chaotic, this episode is for you. EPISODE OUTLINE: HOW TO PLAN YOUR FALL TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE 00:00 Intro 06:21 I made you a worksheet ◡̈ 09:30 STEP 1: THE AUDIT 10:36 Facticity vs. transcendence (de Beauvoir) 11:11 The importance of considering both your past and your potential 12:55 Using self-distancing to self-reflect more effectively 13:31 How to audit your goals 14:56 How to audit your execution 18:24 STEP 2: THE PURGE 19:07 The paradox of…

If your early twenties are for your Sylvia Plath fig tree allegory crisis, then your late twenties are for your Joan Didion Goodbye to All That crisis. In her famous 1967 essay, Didion writes, “That was the year, my twenty-eighth, when I was discovering that not all of the promises would be kept, that some things are in fact irrevocable and that it had counted after all, every evasion and every procrastination, every mistake, every word, all of it.” This episode explores a strain of existential dread that often shows up in your late twenties: the possibility crisis. Sometimes it hits you after capital-S Something happens. A bad break up, a wounding professional failure, or a friendship ending that felt like betrayal. Other times, there is no one defining moment or incident. You just realize one day that you are no longer as bright eyed, bushy tailed, or hopeful as you used to be, and can’t put your finger on why. Using Didion’s Goodbye to All That as our guide, we break down three key signs you might be…

Be honest: do you ever perform for no one? Do you spectate your own life instead of living it? Have you ever caught yourself changing pieces of you, from your clothes to your voice to your hobbies, in order to impress someone you don’t even like? This episode is for you if you’ve ever sucked in your stomach in a completely empty room. Or scrolled through your own social media posts, imagining someone else looking at them. It’s for you if you've ever looked at yourself through someone else's eyes for so long that you've forgotten what you look like through your own. In it, we’ll unpack how we get trapped under the male gaze through the work of Jean-Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, Susan Sontag, Margaret Atwood, Ada Limón, and more. Then, I'll walk you through 7 rituals that have actually helped me climb out from under it. This is not an episode about giving up on love. It is a field guide on how to stop twisting yourself into inauthentic shapes to earn validation to fill the void of love. If you want to…

In stories, the narrator tells you which ordinary things are portals to magic and adventure. In real life, you have to find them yourself. This episode reveals 5 secret portals to the next version of yourself: seemingly ordinary choices, traits, and habits that are thresholds to the future version of you who lives with more courage, clarity, and freedom. It’s for you if an old version of you has died but the new one hasn’t been born yet. You might have recently experienced a big life change: a move, or a relationship ending, or a career change. Or maybe you know one is coming. It’s for you if you have an unshakeable feeling that there is a more alive version of you out there, if only you could figure out how to get to them. We’ll examine the work of philosophy’s greatest minds, like Nietzsche, Kant, Kafka, and the Ancient Greeks, to uncover the hidden thresholds between who you are and who you're becoming, and point out clues for how to spot them when they appear in your own life. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro…

See you soon - I'll miss you! Make sure you're subscribed so you know when Soul Gum is back. WHERE TO FIND ME: MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠ Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (write “REQUEST FOR SIGNED COPY” in the order notes!) Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠ Practice yoga with me at Shanti Yoga Houston on the last Sunday of every month!⁠ Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Everyone wants love, but no one can tell you exactly what love is. In this episode, we deep dive into seven philosophical perspectives on love, ranging from the Ancient Greeks to the existentialists. If you’re curious whether Plato thought soulmates were real or Kierkegaard would tell you to text your ex, this episode is for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro (the philosophy of love) 03:19 What even is love? (hypotheticals on love) 07:07 Ancient Greek philosophy on love 07:35 Origins of the concept of soulmates (Plato’s The Symposium) 09:03 Socrates’ ladder of love 13:03 Enlightenment thinkers on love 13:15 Love as social performance (Rousseau) 13:58 Rousseau’s two types of self love 15:22 How self love affects how you love others 17:31 The humanity formula (Kant) 19:49 Practical vs. passionate love (Kant) 22:07 Love as a trick (Schopenhauer) 24:04 Why do opposites attract? (Schopenhauer) 24:28 Is love just biological encouragement to reproduce? (Schopenhauer) 26:06 Existentialists on love 26:14 The tension…

Ever wonder why some people seem to have endless creativity while you’re stuck with half-baked ideas that never make it out of your Notes app? In this episode, we explore the habits, tips and artistic processes of creative geniuses ranging from Plato and Picasso to Mary Oliver and Rick Rubin. I reveal the 7 secrets of creative geniuses that helped me stop chasing perfection, relight my creative spark, and actually enjoy the process of making art. If you’re ready to stop gatekeeping your own creativity, this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro: Why creativity matters for everyone (not just artists) 03:58 1. Great creatives don’t let perfection be the enemy of creation (Plato’s Republic, perfection vs. forms, Ira Glass on “the gap”) 11:28 2. They separate creation, refinement, and critique (Rick Rubin, The Creative Act) 14:41 3. They focus on next possibilities, not ultimate goals (Stuart Kauffman’s adjacent possible, evolutionary biology, Bhagavad Gita, Rick Rubin on artistry vs. craftsmanship) 20:56…

What happens when your faith collapses? In this episode, I share my story of spiritual deconstruction and how I learned to believe again—sort of. This isn’t a “how to get your faith back” story. It’s the story of tearing my faith down to the studs, sifting through the rubble, and deciding what was worth keeping. We’ll talk god shaped holes, Kierkegaard, Camus, Pascal’s wager, and the surprising peace of not needing all the answers. This episode if for anyone who is currently filling their god-shaped hole with TikTok marathons, self-help books and spiral-inducing questions. If you started at church camp and have landed in full-blown nihilism, press play. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro: the story of how I lost my faith and got it back (sort of) 08:01 1. Why spiritual crises often happen at the worst possible time 10:35 How my own spiritual crisis began 18:07 Kierkegaard on despair and the self 19:47 2. Why spiritual health gets worse before it gets better 26:19 The delight of spiritual curiosity 27:43 3. Choosing…

Confrontation is hard. But avoiding it is harder—on your peace, your relationships, and your self-respect. In this episode, explore how to get better at having tough conversations. We’ll look to Aristotle, Joan Didion, and the Gottman institute’s world-renowned research on conflict to create a roadmap for navigating confrontation without abandoning yourself or bulldozing anyone else. If you spiral after hitting send, avoid awkward conversations for weeks while playing out fake arguments in the shower, or disassociate every time someone says “we need to talk,” this one's for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 05:19 1. The correlation between confrontation and respect 06:27 Joan Didion On Self Respect 08:47 The trolley problem (Foote) 14:33 2. Approaching confrontation practically 16:33 Phronesis (Aristotle) 18:35 Kant’s categorical imperative 20:50 Thich Nhat Hanh’s three gates 23:27 3. Confrontation dos and don’ts 23:49 the Gottman institute 24:44 Confrontation don’ts 26:14 Confrontation dos 26:17 The magic…

Want to become a better conversationalist? You should! Good conversations can open doors, build friendships, and even change your life. But in an age of goldfish attention spans, hot takes, and chronic fear of being seen, real connection is harder than ever. The good news? Conversation is an art, but it’s also a science. In this episode, we walk through 5 things great conversationalists do differently, according to philosophy and psychology. If you want to feel less robotic on dates, network without cringing, vibe better with your friends, or just not panic when someone says “tell me about yourself,” this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE: 00:00 Intro 04:07 1. Seeing conversation as a skill 11:03 2. Starting lots of conversations 18:30 3. Asking more questions 25:06 4. Leaving room for the unexpected 29:08 5. Expecting reality, not hyperreality 33:27 Lightning round recap 36:19 Challenge MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Simulacra and Simulation, Jean Baudrillard (1981) TALK: The Science of Conversation and The Art of…

Feeling stuck, numb, or overwhelmed? Crashing out for the third time this week? Good news! Philosophy, the sad girl discipline of academia, has lots of advice for you. This episode breaks down 5 reasons why we get stuck according to philosophical greats like Franz Kafka, Soren Kierkegaard, Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus and more. We’ll talk about practical strategies to climb out of your spiral and start feeling like yourself again. If your search history includes ‘why am I like this’ and ‘how to feel okay again,’ press play. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 04:53 You’re stuck because… 05:00 1. You’re free 05:18 The dizziness of freedom (Kierkegaard) 06:04 We’re condemned to be free (Sartre) 07:13 The fig tree allegory (Sylvia Plath) 13:21 2. You’re choosing information over experience 13:35 Mary’s Room hypothetical (Jackson) 22:49 3. You’ve outgrown a version of yourself 23:02 The Metamorphosis (Kafka) 26:54 4. You’re expecting sense in senseless places 27:04 The Trial (Kafka) 35:14 5. You think nothing matters…

19th century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed every transformation followed a sacred three-step pattern. In this episode, we walk through the three metamorphoses of the soul from Nietzsche’s 1883 work Thus Spoke Zarathustra. We’ll talk about why a chapter of chaos might be necessary to become your fullest, truest self, and how Nietzsche’s stages apply to modern life. This episode is for you if you're experiencing or anticipating a big shift, no matter whether it relates to your career, relationships, creativity, spirituality, identity, or everything at once. If you’re feeling lost, restless, or ready for reinvention, this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 06:34 The camel spirit 11:32 The lion spirit 17:25 The child spirit 25:40 Lightning round recap 26:43 Challenge MY LINKS • ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on…

Thought daughters, this one’s for you. This episode is your guide to keeping your mind fed all summer long. In it, I share the note-taking system that’s changing my life, a 10 minute morning routine that primes your brain for creative work, recs for intellectually stimulating podcasts, books, and newsletters, and more. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:14 1. Take notes 06:57 2. Write by hand 08:42 3. Get out of your echo chamber 11:01 4. Remember the Zeigarnik effect 14:54 5. Change your conversation norms 18:08 6. Practice hard attention 21:11 7. 10 minute morning rule 22:33 8. Chew your brain food 23:54 9. Show what you don’t know 26:20 Newsletter recs 27:41 Philosophy podcast recs 28:08 Poetry recs 29:40 Lightning round recap

So your life just changed. Maybe you moved, your relationship ended, or you quit a job. You've found yourself in new territory without your usual routines, roles, or scripts. You're Googling “who even am I?” every night. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong. In this episode, I’m sharing 8 things I wish I knew during past seasons of change in my life. The in-between is uncomfortable, but it's also full of possibility. If you’re in a messy middle right now, this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 03:35 How to follow your intuition 06:38 How to know the right choice 10:50 The effect of your ego 14:10 The impact of who you keep close 19:27 The importance of confrontation 23:21 The impact of tiny choices 26:40 How to shift into the next chapter 28:59 Hard versus wrong SOURCES Smoke filled room study Balloon study bell hooks, all about love Audre Lorde essay: The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action Churning of the ocean story from the Mahabharata

How you spend your weeks is how you spend your life. In this episode, I walk through five powerful philosophical, psychological and spiritual concepts—including Nietzsche’s eternal return, Aristotle’s golden mean, the planning fallacy, and Parkinson’s Law—that will help you create a weekly routine you love. I also let you in on my own weekly routine, including a Sunday night ritual to rewire your brain and my top tips for planning weeks that change your life. EPISODE OUTLINE 04:21 Nietzsche’s eternal return 12:27 Aristotle’s golden mean 19:04 The jar principle & Parkinson’s law 23:16 “I don’t have time” vs. “it’s not a priority” 25:28 The planning fallacy (Kahneman) 31:59 Dharma 37:22 My weekly routine MY LINKS • ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The bad news is you’re always going to care what people think. The good news is it doesn’t have to control your life. In this episode, I walk through 9 ways to rethink your relationship with external validation. If you want to be done letting other people’s opinions steer your every move, this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 05:28 1. Caring what people think is natural 07:14 2. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do 16:07 3. You should care what some people think 18:16 4. Not caring what people think ≠ not caring about people 19:45 5. Chasing approval always backfires eventually 26:21 6. You don’t know what people think 30:29 7. Other people are not thinking about you as much as it feels like they are 35:32 8. You care more about other people’s opinions when you don’t have your own 37:28 9. It’s okay to want to be with people who make you feel good 39:27 Lightning round recap 42:29 Challenge EPISODE LINKS • The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz • Man’s Search for Meaning…

Is the self something we find—or something we create? We’re constantly told to “be ourselves,” but the world teaches us fast that we also need to be likable, marketable, and hot. No wonder we’re all confused. In this episode, we dive into how different philosophers—from Socrates to Simone de Beauvoir to Carl Jung—understood the search for the true self and how their insights can help us stop performing and start living more honestly. If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your personality instead of living it, this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 05:49 Sigmund Freud 09:08 Attachment theory (Bowlby & Ainsworth) 10:55 Carl Jung’s theory on masks and shadows 12:15 The chill girl mask (Gone Girl) 13:34 Shapeshifter (MAKE BELIEVE) 14:38 The masks vs. the Self 15:04 Rousseau’s natural vs. social man 17:15 Using logic to hide from passion 17:55 For the ones who left (MAKE BELIEVE) 19:37 Freud, Jung & Rousseau reflection questions 21:48 Sartre: owning your agency as authenticity 23:08 Sartre’s concept…

In a flop era that feels like it will never end? I know that feeling. If you’re in a rut—whether it’s burnout, a creative freeze, or a “what now” spiral after a big life change—I made this episode for you. I share about my own recent rut, what helped me get through it, and a practical 3-step roadmap grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy. This one’s part pep talk, part game plan, part love letter to anyone feeling stuck. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:00 My “what now?” rut 06:46 Roadmap out of your rut 08:06 1. Get your story straight 08:29 You haven’t ruined your life 09:48 My bar exam story 15:48 You are not alone 16:26 Lifequakes 17:55 You are not lazy 18:54 Are you burnt out? 20:44 The classic existential crash out 22:14 Are you in functional freeze? 23:42 Perfectionism-procrastination-paralysis cycle 26:31 2. Make a plan 26:47 Friction audit (Adam Alter) 30:01 Smallest possible actions 32:47 Lower the bar or you won’t reach for it 33:43 The photography class experiment 38:13 3. Have grace…

What actually makes us feel drawn to someone—and what makes us cling to situationships long after we can see the glaring red flags of emotional unavailability? In today's episode, I’m joined by my first-ever guest (!!) and one of my favorite podcasters of all time, Jemma Sbeg—host of the wildly popular Psychology of Your 20s podcast and the author of Person in Progress. If you’ve ever screamed-cried in your car after someone you weren’t even officially dating ghosted you, this one’s for you. A few things we dive into: A research-backed formula for attraction (and how to use it without playing games) The role of the “spark” in attraction The psychology behind common dating pitfalls in your 20s The stigma of being single The commitment-readiness scale (and why it can land you in situationship after situationship) Jemma also shares insights from PERSON IN PROGRESS—a roadmap for surviving the chaotic, confusing, deeply transitional decade that is your twenties—and offers advice to her younger self that made me…

What if the things you believe about life, love, success, and happiness are backwards? In today’s episode, we’re diving into 10 paradoxes: the little plot twists, contradictions, and life surprises I wish someone had warned me about. Learning these the hard way cost me a lot of time and heartbreak, and my hope is that sharing them now saves you some of yours. Hit play for a big, juicy reality check. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 01:23 1. The likability paradox 03:12 2. The paradox of choice 06:09 3. The paradox of knowledge 06:52 The Dunning-Kruger Effect 08:22 4. The paradox of failure 09:12 Not choosing is a choice (Jean-Paul Sartre) 10:33 5. The paradox of tolerance (Karl Popper) 11:03 James Baldwin on agreeing to disagree 12:20 6. The paradox of moving on 12:46 Ironic process theory 14:19 7. The paradox of pleasure 15:37 Aristotle's virtue-based happiness 16:08 Viktor Frankl on happiness 17:07 The dopamine trap 18:03 8. The paradox of freedom 18:33 Self-determination theory 20:02 The dizziness of freedom…

Getting back in the saddle? I love that for you. But here’s the truth: staying on track takes more than motivation. If you’ve been craving a fresh start but don't know where to start, this episode is for you. We’re breaking down 8 of the most common ways people sabotage their own progress—from relying too much on discipline to using self-hate as fuel. Whether you have a big dream or just want to get unstuck, you deserve to enter your next chapter with eyes wide open. Let’s talk about the philosophy and psychology of making a comeback stick. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:40 Eight ways to sabotage a comeback 03:22 1. Believing you're behind 06:19 2. Being apologetic about what you want 07:18 You hold yourself back when you move in silence 08:41 You're being judgmental when you assume people are judging you 10:28 3. Underestimating the subconscious mind 10:45 The neuroscience of manifestation 12:46 Self-deprecation is manifesting too 14:37 4. Focusing only on your how & not your why 14:47 Nietzsche's will to…

The tariffs won’t just affect your wallet—they’ll also affect your soul. In this episode, we walk through 5 spiritual side effects of an economic downturn (per Abraham Maslow, Karl Marx, and Simone Weil). Then we’ll talk through 3 philosophically-rooted tips for tending to your soul during (yet another) unprecedented time. Are the people wearing milkmaid dresses to the club a recession indicator? What would Karl Marx think about you hating your coworkers who won’t stay late at the office? How can we prioritize spirituality at a time like this without being navel-gazey? Let’s talk about it. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 03:16 5 spiritual impacts of a recession 03:45break 06:39 1. Accessing spirituality gets harder 06:52 Maslow’s hierarchy of needs 08:37 Simone Weil and Simone du Beauvoir clash 11:05 Everyone’s an existentialist until the rent is due 12:31 2. Resurgence of traditional faith systems 12:39 Hemline index 13:36 Moral panics during recessions 13:52 Today: trad wives, homesteading and Catholic core…

We all want to be happy—but so many of the ways we chase happiness actually leave us more disconnected, burnt out, or empty than before. In this episode, we’ll walk through five of the most common happiness traps: the things we do to feel better that often make us feel worse. Along the way, we’ll explore what Nietzsche, Marx, and modern Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek have to say about the pursuit of joy. Then, we’ll turn to one of the longest-running studies on happiness to ask the big question: when it comes to feeling good, what actually works? No one has the secret to happiness. But a lot of smart people have said a lot of smart things that might help you feel better and access a little more joy. Let’s talk about it. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 01:18 Break 03:22 5 happiness traps 03:27 1. Overconsumption 06:00 Overconsumption starts with scarcity programming 07:11 Nietzsche & overconsumption as a way to fill the void 10:37 2. Chasing achievements 11:46 Slavoj Zizek and the duty to enjoy the grind…

I’m thinking of someone. Guess who? They’re a trailblazing artist. LGBTQ-adjacent. A Gemini from Long Island. An artist trying to make sense of rapid technological change and political division. No, not Lady Gaga. Not RuPaul. Not Frank Ocean. Think older. Centuries older. Today we’re talking about the great American poet, Walt Whitman. Walt Whitman was born in 1819, but his world feels eerily familiar. His New York was reeling from technological change and caught in a web of political division. Sound familiar? In this episode, we explore Whitman’s life—from his roots as a Brooklyn typesetter to his rise as the great American poet. We’ll unpack his most famous work, Leaves of Grass, and the ideas in it that scandalized entire towns. We’ll talk about the beauty of contradiction, the divinity of the mundane, and the radical interconnectedness of all things. We’ll ask: what does it mean to write about hope and unity at a Time Like This? If you’re questioning how your art (or your heart) fits into a collapsing…

When was the last time you felt genuine awe? Not just happiness, not “that’s cool,” but deep, childlike wonder? In this episode, we explore 7 five-minutes-or-less practices that can help you feel more present, more alive, and more connected to the quiet magic all around you. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 01:28 MAKE BELIEVE is out now 02:50 Come hang with me on tour? 03:51 7 tiny ways to cultivate awe 03:54 1. Look closely at ordinary nature 04:20 The goggles of habit 04:41 Walt Whitman: what is the grass? 05:27 Thich Nhat Hanh’s tangerine meditation 07:31 Rumi & the blurriness of separation 09:14 2. Look up 10:00 The benefits of tree gazing 10:29 Mary Oliver’s When I Am Among the Trees 11:48 3. Unitask music 11:55 Music used to be the main course 13:06 One song no multitasking challenge 13:29 Make an awe playlist 13:40 4. Make unsmall small talk 14:19 Martin Buber’s I-Thou vs I-It 15:50 Challenge: be aware during small talk 16:17 The sacred ground of connection 16:50 5. Remember pale blue dot 17:08 The Voyager…

We romanticize big life changes—quitting the job, moving to the dream city, chasing the thing we’ve always wanted. But big changes have big side effects. And if you don’t see them coming, they might just send you running back to the life you were trying to leave behind. In this episode, we’re breaking down six warnings I wish someone had told me before I changed everything. If you’re craving a big shift, let’s make sure you’re ready for it. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 01:45 Life update + tour! 05:52 6 warnings about changing your life 06:14 1. It will not automatically make you happy 07:44 Harvard happiness study 08:34 The hedonic treadmill 9:54 2. You will have an identity crisis 10:12 Ship of Theseus 11:40 3. You’ll probably feel stuck 12:04 Diamond Example 13:12 Change happens at tipping points 15:31 4. It never stops feeling vulnerable 15:55 Asch conformity study 17:18 The neuroscience of fear & hope 19:43 It’s only embarrassing if you’re embarrassed 22:33 5. There’s no magic pill 24:32 6. You’ll feel…

Don’t press play unless you’re ready for big change. This isn’t a normal podcast episode—it’s a guided practice designed to help you step into the next chapter of you with clarity and intention. Maybe you’re on the brink of a big life change. Or maybe you feel stuck and just know it's time for a shift. This episode will walk you through the five-step practice that completely changed my life. In it, we'll learn about the neuroscience of manifestation, do a guided meditation, journal, and come on the other side of the episode with a clear plan routing towards our dreams. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 08:13 Agenda 09:25 Plato's Cave Allegory 13:22 The neuroscience of manifestation 16:14 The reflection practice that changed my life 16:36 Step 1: Define your current chapter 20:37 Step 2: Define your next chapter 22:53 Step 3: Guided visualization meditation 37:32 Step 4: Journaling 38:26 4a. Reflect on the chapter that’s ending 40:56 4b. Set intentions for your next chapter 43:29 4c. Set SMAAART* goals 47:33 4d.…

Admit it: you’re still thinking about that cringey thing you did 6 years ago. Maybe it was something you said. Something you did. Something that haunts you at 2 AM when your brain decides to rerun its most humiliating blooper reel. Today, we’re breaking down exactly how to move past an embarrassing moment in 5 steps. We’ll talk about why your brain refuses to let things go, how the spotlight effect makes you think people care way more than they actually do, and the five fastest ways to shake off the cringe and move on with your life. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:06 Preorder Make Believe! Come see me on tour! 02:44 Why do we feel embarrassment? 03:50 Embarrassment scale 03:57 Tier 1: slight cringe 05:07 Tier 2: mild cringe 07:07 Tier 3: proper humiliation 11:09 Tier 4: deep humiliation 13:29 Tier 5: existential humiliation 15:45 Jean Paul Sartre’s the gaze 17:50 The spotlight effect 18:44 Social media and the spotlight effect 19:30 5 tips for navigating embarrassing moments 19:3 6 Break - Book! Bali! Tour!…

Creatives, I’m looking at you. In today’s episode, I walk you through exactly how I lost my creative spark in the Internet’s sea of opinions and how I got it back. When did we forget that art is supposed to make us clutch our pearls? And how do we remember? If you want to stop praying to the altar of the comment section, this episode is for you. We’ll walk through 4 things that helped me start making chewy, brave art again. You owe it to yourself to stop sanitizing your art. This episode is a messy, raw field guide on how to do that—from another creative climbing out of the same boat. 00:00 Intro 02:09 Preorder MAKE BELIEVE! Let’s hang on tour! 02:44 Are vulnerability and nuance needed for good art? 03:13 Did video kill the radio star? Will IG poetry kill literary poetry? 04:04 Taylor Swift’s quill, fountain pen, glitter gel pen buckets of art 04:40 Sugarcoated self love: helpful or hurtful? 05:28 Should we think about the audience when we make art? 05:42 Rick Rubin & “the audience eats last” 06:20 Is social…

Confidence isn’t just something you have—it’s something you do. Today, we’re breaking down 8 small but powerful shifts that will instantly change how others see you and how you feel about yourself. These aren’t generic “believe in yourself” tips. These are super specific, research-backed tips that will instantly improve your confidence. We’re diving into original sources ranging from Plato’s the Republic to HBO’s Euphoria to ask: what does it mean to be a confident person? And how do you become one? If you want to show up in the next conversation you have as most magnetic, grounded, and comfy-in-your-skin version of yourself—this episode is for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 03:42 The philosophy of confidence 03:55 Plato’s virtue of the mean 05:30 Maddy from Euphoria on confidence 06:49 8 shifts for instant confidence 07:18 Break - with a surprise for you! 11:12 1. The power of the pause 13:35 2. Watch overactive listening 16:02 3. Open body language 18:29 4. Handshakes are hot 20:34 5. Rephrase mirrored…

We live in an age of seemingly infinite options. The internet has thousands of pages of search results for that thing you need to buy. Endless entertainment awaits on streaming platforms and social media. Dating apps offer a never-ending scroll of potential partners. So why does it feel impossible to find what we need? Why can’t you pick a movie to watch? Why is it harder than ever to find someone to love? This episodes discusses the paradox of choice: the idea that more choices often make us less happy. Is more less when it comes to choices? If so, how can we live happily in an age of infinite options? Let's talk about it. EPISODE OUTLINE: 00:00 Intro 01:51 What is the paradox of choice? 02:37 Stanford jam study 06:12 Dating apps 07:10 Decision paralysis 08:53 Opportunity costs 09:13 Sylvia Plath's fig tree allegory 12:08 Expectation inflation 15:05 So what do we do about it? 15:57 Break 21:01 Kierkegaard's leap of faith 22:10 The Midnight Library by Matt Haig 24:17 Nietzsche's amor fati 27:49 Satisficing…

Friend breakups hit different. They’re messy, heartbreaking, and rarely come with closure. In today’s episode, we’re breaking down five of the most common types of friendship breakups, why they happen, and how to survive them without losing your mind (or your faith in humanity). If you’ve ever mourned a friendship like it was a death, this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE: 00:00 Intro 03:21 1. The Mutual Drift 04:18 Aristotle’s utility, pleasure and virtue friendships 06:46 Dunbar’s number: how many friendships can we maintain at once? 08:25 Carl Jung & making friends while wearing a mask 09:40 Mollenhorst’s social pruning study 10:06 Getting through a mutual drift 11:51 Break - with a surprise! 15:23 2. The One-Sided Slow Fade 17:00 How to get through it on the receiving end 19:09 What if you’re the one who’s fading away from a friend? 21:22 3. The Formal Breakup 23:38 How to break up with a friend ethically 24:47 Getting through a friend breaking up with you 25:34 4. The Blow Up 26:42 Sartre & conflict as a…

Your attention is sacred. It’s also for sale. Maybe the reason you can’t get off your phone or stop wasting your Saturdays streaming a show you’ll forget the moment you finish the last episode or do what you say you will isn’t because you’re lazy. It’s not because you don’t want it badly enough. It’s not because you haven’t locked in. Maybe the reason you can’t focus is bigger than you entirely. Today’s episode dives into the hidden reason we distract ourselves from our own lives and leaves you with 5 bite-sized ways to reclaim your brain. My fellow doomscrollers, rotters, and TikTok ban mourners: this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE: 02:18 The spiritual source of distraction 02:29 I. Nietzsche: staring into the abyss 03:43 II. Kierkegaard: sickness unto death 04:46 III. Victor Frankl: the search for meaning 08:04 IV. Kali yuga: the age of distraction 09:16 Enter: the attention economy 10:15 The Dorito theory 14:23 So what do we do about it? 14:31 5 steps to take back your focus 14:42 Break - with a surprise…

This episode should be called ten HARD TO HEAR things about dating I wish I knew in my twenties because... oof. Buckle up. The dating scene in your twenties is the trenches. I wish I could go back in time and tell all this to younger me. It would save her so many hours and tears and good outfits on bad dates with people who don't like her. Instead, I'll tell you. I learned each of these lessons the hard way, but you don't have to! I present to you: 10 things I wish I knew about dating in my twenties. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 01:20 Break 04:09 If they treat you like they don’t care, they don’t 06:41 Someone not liking you doesn't make them a catch 10:06 Running at the first sign of conflict isn’t a flex 13:21 If you’re attracted to games, you’re the problem 16:36 Stop seeking closure from your exes 19:05 Don’t date their potential 20:14 Being single rocks 23:05 Love is not all you need 23:36 You can’t make them stay if they want to go 30:58 You can’t scare away the right person 33:39 Lightning round recap…

Feel like you’re meant for something more but can’t put your finger on what that “more” is? This episode is here to help. The bad news is: finding your purpose in a world full of distractions and expectations is hard. Like, super hard. The good news is: we’ve been struggling with this since the dawn of humanity, so lots of extremely smart people have piped up about it. Clues to your purpose are hiding in unexpected places. Today, we’ll explore 8 of those clues, as proposed by some of humanity’s greatest minds. Consider this episode a field guide out of your existential crisis. Brought to you by me: your friendly neighborhood lawyer-turned-creative, fresh out of the trenches of living someone else’s life. SHOW OUTLINE: 00:00 Intro 03:14 If you're looking for your purpose, look for... 03:42 1. What you loved as a kid (Nietzsche) 06:31 2. What makes you jealous (Nietzsche) 10:15 3. What puts you into flow state (Csikszentmihalyi) 13:00 Break 15:56 4. What you see everywhere 16:32 The Invisible Gorilla…

So you have a dream, huh? You're in the right place. You've probably heard this quote from the brilliant Brianna Wiest: Your new life will cost you your old one. Today we're diving into it. As someone who walked away from an old life for a new one this year, let me tell you - there are costs. In the past year, I have completely flipped my life on its head. I walked away from my job as an attorney to dive into the murky waters of creative work. This episode will discuss 10 things your new life will cost you. SHOW LINKS: Your Dreams Are For People Like You - listen to the episode of Shawna Krueger's podcast, Leadership and Yoga Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation, by James Doty, M.D. Visual representation of Plato's Cave Allegory MY LINKS: ⁠Preorder my poetry book MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow to get a free poem print and a personalized signed copy⁠ ⁠Preorder MAKE BELIEVE from Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, and more! ⁠ ⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠ ⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠ ⁠Find me…

The floating rock mentality—nihilism with rose-colored glasses—is quickly becoming the zeitgeist of spiritually deconstructed young people. What is it? How did we get here? Cosmologically speaking, are we really just insignificant creatures on an insignificant floating rock? Is life meaningless? What are the pros and cons of believing that it is? Is optimistic nihilism going to turn you into Tyler Durden or Jobu Tupaki? What can we learn from Nietzsche, Albert Camus and Sisyphus? How do we find value in a potentially meaningless universe? Are spirituality and rationality mutually exclusive on this floating rock in space? JUMP AROUND I. intro II. disclaimers (2:37) III. floating rock mentality (6:48) a. what is it? (6:48) b. how did we get here? (9:37) c. is it true, literally & cosmologically speaking? (11:41) (ad break) IV. nietzsche and nihilist philosophy (21:24) a. sad early life (22:19) b. sad love life (23:58) c. nietzsche’s philosophical model (24:47) V. the pros of purposelessness (29:45) VI. the…

Let’s talk about death, baby. Today we’re asking: Why are we so afraid to die? Are we 21st century humans any different than Gilgamesh (remember Gilgamesh)? Who’s the most afraid of death: baby boomers, millennials or Gen-Z? Should you freeze your brain in case future humans figure out how not to die? What’s death meditation? Can Victoria talk about her spiritual breakthrough without sounding unbearably woo woo? How do we get less afraid to die??? JUMP AROUND: I. disclaimers 0:37 II. what is death anxiety? 5:19 III. the paradox of being human (ernest becker) 8:09 IV. trying not to die across history (from gilgamesh to cryonics) 12:50 V. afterlife beliefs: then and now 17:13 ad break (are you proud of me or annoyed or both??) VI. demographic differences in fear of death 20:03 a. nationality 20:49 b. religion 24:15 c. age 26:27 VII. my experiences with death anxiety 30:37 a. fear of being buried alive 33:53 b. false memories related to death 37:22 c. fear of oblivion 39:02 d. spiritual crisis 41:51 ad break…

Is friendship harder than dating or are we all just a little gay? Who did friendship labels better, Aristotle or the Myspace Top 8? Was Alexander Hamilton bi or were we just more comfy with deep friend love back then? How do you make friends as an adult? Is the self care era making us bad friends? Can you love yourself well and love your friends well at the same time? EPISODE SUMMARY I. WHY IS MAKING FRIENDS SO HARD?(2:34) a. no clear labels (3:22) i. the myspace top 8 - a fleeting moment of clarity (5:47) ii. aristotle's take on friendship labels (8:00) b. no hallpass for jealousy (14:34) i. alexander hamilton: bisexual or just comfy with friend love? (15:55) c. no roadmap for initiating friendships (20:38) d. we're all a little gay nowadays (24:05) II. HOW DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS AS AN ADULT? (27:25) a. using the internet (28:05) b. get okay with pleasure-based friendships (31:00) c. be patient (32:07) d. emotional openness (32:56) e. following through (34:53) III. IS THE SELF CARE ERA MAKING US BAD FRIENDS?…

Is discipline a dirty word in your book? Hustle culture and diet culture have turned a lot of us against discipline. Should discipline have a place in our lives post-hustle culture? How do you redirect your discipline towards your passions instead of your body and your job? How do you unplug from hustle culture without quitting your job/school? How do you remember your passions post-burnout? EPISODE SUMMARY: I. WHAT IS DISCIPLINE? (4:19) II. THE #GIRLBOSS ERA (7:02) a. post-2008 recession: lean in or lose your job (8:09) b. 2010s: hustle culture and glorification of overworking (11:04) c. 2014: rise of the #girlboss (15:38) d. mounting pressure to have a side hustle: MLMs and beyond (17:35) e. meanwhile, diet culture reigns supreme (18:26) III. BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A GIRLBOSS - THE FALL OF HUSTLE CULTURE (20:58) a. COVID, the great resignation and mass burnout (24:10) b. growing anti-diet culture sentiment (25:55) c. “soft living" trend / rejection of discipline (27:34) IV. TAKING BACK DISCIPLINE (31:22) a.…